That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.
As we reflect on the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. For a moment, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?
All’s Fair
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.
The Iris Affair
Naturally we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.
Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
